The Things We Know
by AlenaMai
Summary: He always felt as though someone was looking after him. Now, he wishes to pass that down to someone else. No slash.
1. Suspecta

**I've seen a lot of stories going around where they're just little drabbles. So I guess this is my first attempt at one.  
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**Suspect**

He thinks he's known for a while. He wasn't as stupid as he looked, despite popular belief. He'd seen enough tree branches falling on bandits, mercenaries right when he needed it. He'd seen more then enough weapons suddenly finding themselves very, very hot. Hell, he'd seen plates come flying out of nowhere. In each and everyone of those situations, Merlin had been present and accounted for.

In fact, Gwaine couldn't remember a time when Merlin wasn't there, right beside them whether it be hunting trip, dangerous quest, army of immortal soldiers taking over Camelot, Morgana controlling said immortal army or the aftermath of a drink to many at some feast, tavern what have you.

In other words, Merlin had been there pretty much every single time that magic could have been used to overcome whatever hurdle Arthur seemed to face on a weekly basis.

In conclusion, Sir Gwaine, Knight of Camelot believed that his best and probably closest friend had magic. The only problem would be confronting him about it.

**Please review. **


	2. Sick and Blame

**Sick and Blame  
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He doesn't want to blame her. But he does. But he doesn't. But he- you know what, he's sick of it all. He's sick of the hurt, the dying, the victims of Morgana. He's sick of the mark that she left on his life, and those that lived in Camelot's formerly safe walls. He's sick of seeing children cry and beg and lead for their parents to be brought back home. He's sick of his father being sick. He's sick of being king, or regent or whatever the council want him to be. He's sick of the looks. The looks that scream hate. The looks that scream pain. The looks that scream pity.

He's sick of it all. He's sick of himself.

He blames himself. Merlin can see it in his eyes. The way he passes the people, his people, and has to look away. It's his fault. That's all Arthur feels at the moment, and Merlin knows it.

But who is to blame for it all? Really?

The man that betrayed her trust, forcing her to take the dark side? The same man who coincidentally nearly killer her?

The man that pushed her away because he was doing the right thing?

It was Merlin's fault, not Arthur's. It's all he can think. All he can taste. All he can breath. It was his fault he had lost the one person he thought he loved. That made him sick, without a doubt. But above all, it made him hate himself, and everything that he was. So he takes it from Arthur and carries it around with him for years to come. He will always carry that blame. Because who else could? Who else would?

He wonders if he should've seen it. The looks, the smirks, the triumphant expression when Arthur did not return. He's known her for years. Nearly as long as Arthur. He's known for quite sometime that she has a vindictive streak to her. A side of her that only showed when she was feeling particularly defensive about something. A side that had become more and more prominent since her return.

He knows now that he should've. Merlin did after all. Leon doesn't know that for sure, but he can guess that Merlin knew well before anyone else. No one should ever have to carry a burden so big for so long. That's what makes him sick. So he takes it from him. Not all of it. Some of it. Enough that the haunted looks in the depths of the blue, blue eyes don't look so haunted anymore.

None of these great men notice, but someone somewhere, lurks and watches. They watch as the blame is passed from person to person. Prince, to servant, to knight and back again. They smile. Not for cruel reasons. No, this person was not that type of person. This person was someone who watched as slowly, Camelot rebuilt itself on the basis of those three men.

**That was slightly angsty. Set...well it could be any times this season, last season or future seasons.**

**Keep the reviews flowing please, as a sign of Christmas Cheer.  
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	3. Remembering Lancelot Pt 1

**Remembering Lancelot Pt 1**

**Disclaimer: shouldn't the word 'disclaimer' give you some idea? In any case, I don't own.**

Years and years had passed since Lancelot had died. Not the first time when he walked through the veil. No, the time when Morgana had resurrected him from the dead to break Gwen and Arthur apart.

In the years since, they'd discovered many things about their former brother in arms. Many of these things they had thought to be broken by the betrayal of Lancelot. That the betrayal was not truly a betrayal.

The time of year had brought the knights out to the Lake where Merlin had laid to rest his closest friend. Merlin never joined them and neither did Arthur. He knew the truth but it still hurt to think of Gwen and Lancelot together.

The Knights of the Roundtable packed day bags and set off early that morning. It was one of their few days off since both Arthur and Merlin were stuck in the Council Chambers talking of peace treaties with Caerleon and Mercia. The timing was perfect really.

They rode for several hours before they finally came across the lake. The lake itself looked like any other lake but it had the distinct aura of magic that all the Knights had become used to over the years.

"This place is to pretty for a knight to rest," Gwaine finally said after many minutes of silence. His words had effectively broken a sort of unspoken agreement between he and his brothers that released a torrent.

"Pretty Gwaine? A grown knight should never say 'pretty'," Elyan informed him,

"He says as he says the forbidden word."

"Nice Elyan, how many times can you say say in one sentence," Percival commented.

Elyan opened his mouth to reply but was hit in the head by a rock courtesy of Gwaine.

The banter continues for the better part of the day. It's almost like old times. Times when they'd be relaxing after some adventure or training session and would just argue for the sake of arguing.

Over time some wounds heal. Over time some memories fade.

But over time, the wounds of their loss of Lancelot would never feel. But over time, the memories of their year with Lancelot would never fade.

Why? Because they were the Knights of the Roundtable.

**So this was going to be a remembrance for Lancelot oneshotty thing. Then I thought up some lines that didn't really fit in with the chapter so this will be continued. I hope you liked it.  
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**Please review.  
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	4. His Servant

**His Servant**

They whisper and gossip about the King and his servant.

They whisper at how the servant never does as he's told, and somehow the king doesn't mind.

They don't whisper when the servant nearly dies after drinking a poison or is otherwise injured in someway.

They whisper about how the king banished his fiancée after he found her with another man. They whisper about how, the king's servant demanded that he forgive Gwen.

They don't whisper when another servant walks in on the king and his servant are sitting at the table. The king with his head in his hands and his servants hand placed comfortingly on his shoulder.

They whisper about the way the servant flounces authority. The way he defiantly calls out Lord Agravaine when the older man demands a rise in the taxes. They whisper about the king not caring in the slightest. They whisper about how the king agrees with his servant and sends his uncle out of the meeting.

They don't whisper when the manservant is stabbed by a certain angry noble. They don't whisper when the king throws said noble into the dungeons, never to be seen again.

They whisper when the declares the end of the ban on magic. They whisper when, only weeks later, the King names his servant Court Sorcerer- not, wait, Warlock- and should anyone have a problem with it, they should see him directly.

They don't whisper when they watch in horror as their king holds his dying friend in his arms and sobs over his body. They don't whisper when a golden light fills the courtyard, surrounding the king and his servant.

They don't whisper when the light slowly fades away into nothingness and the king is still cradling his servant in his arms. They don't whisper when the same servant takes a deep shuddering breath.

They don't whisper when the rest of Camelot wakes and the kings servant is alive and well. No, they don't whisper, they shout and cry with happiness.

After all, the king would not and could not be king without his servant.

**Review. Pretty please.**


	5. Returning

**Returning**

He, Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot watched as his son returned home. At first he'd been shocked, to stunned to move. He thought it was a day dream. Or a nightmare. But not something that could be real. He continued watching as Arthur and that servant boy, whatever his name was, walked slowly through the streets.

Finally, the gravity of what he was seeing hit him. He smiled. He had not smiled since Morgana had been kidnapped. The dragon would be dead, and his son, his pride and joy returned to him, safe.

He moves away from the window, still smiling. There will be a feast for this, he decides. A feast to celebrate the return of the Crown Prince of Camelot and a feast to mourn the loss of the other eleven knights who had been killed by the terrible beast.

**On another note, if there are any ideas for other drabbles then please, by all means let me know.**

**Please review.  
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	6. Frienship

**Friendship**

**This came about after Lamia and I was so mad at all the knights for the way that they treated Merlin and how they all but assumed that everything would be fine with him. This is my opinion on this topic.**

He'd been off training with some other knights in the west of Camelot when Merlin had arrived so he hadn't been there for the first few months as the two boys slowly but surely became close friends.

When he returned, Leon had been curious to see the Prince and his servant, walk right past him, arguing about Arthur's armour and how it was perfectly cleaned and how Arthur was just a prat.

Leon had never been one to think of servants as lower class people after all, he had been quite close with Guinevere growing up, but the servant, Merlin, going so far as to call his prince a prat? Well, even Leon had his limits.

Arthur however, did nothing. He simply gave the other boy a glare and continued on his way.

This stunned Leon. The Arthur he had trained with before his Knighting had been the type of boy who would have someone thrown in the dungeons for insolence. This Arthur though…

In the weeks that followed, Leon observed more and more instances of Merlin blatantly disrespecting Arthur. The prince usually not even batting an eyelid.

Overtime, Leon had befriended the boy. It wasn't a hard thing to do. Wherever Arthur went, Merlin seemed to follow and that included long days of training with the other knights. On more then one occasion Merlin had supplied Leon with water or weapons and never expected any thanks.

That friendship had changed though. Since the sickness in Gwen's village, Merlin never attended training with the knights, usually requesting George to go in his stead.

"Are you alright Merlin? Leon had asked when he'd spotted the young man in the armoury.

Merlin spun around jumping at the voice. "Leon," he gasped, "I'm fine just a little fright is all."

"Well you seem to be avoiding the Knights and I. We were wondering why," Leon warily continued, putting a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

Neither person in the room missed the flinch Merlin made when Leon had made contact with him. "I'm just busy with errands for Gaius. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I am just a servant." The joking words turned bitter. Bitterness didn't suit Merlin at all, Leon decided. But before Leon could respond, Merlin had slipt out through the door.

As the years slipped past, things had not changed between Merlin and the knights. He was still distant and always seemed to flinch if one of them came to close. Arthur seemed to be going along with that since he had been hastily come between the knights and Merlin should any of his men look like they were agitated at the servant.

He didn't know how he lost the friendship that Merlin had provided, but he never thought anything of it because Merlin was really just a servant.

**So, please don't flame me, but I think that there could've been some truth to what Leon said in Lamia. Don't get me wrong, I love Leon but I was still appalled by the way he acted. This was just my way of venting that anger out. **

**In all likelihood I'll write another story about the Knights trying to make it up to Merlin but that probably won't be for a while. **


	7. Remembering Lancelot Pt 2

**Remembering Lancelot Pt 2**

**So this next part is about Gwen. I'm not sure that I like it that much, but I needed it write it so that I can get the next to parts up.  
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Arthur knew she was going out for the day and had told Merlin who had in turn asked her where she was going with a promise of not telling Arthur. When she'd hesitated to reply, Merlin knew instantly. With words of comfort and approval, he helped her prepare for the trip.

She felt bad since the lake was clearly his spot of mourning for people that she did not know, but she had to go. She'd been queen for five years but the pain of the fake Lancelot still caused a rift between her and her husband.

Gwen needed the closure. She needed to see the place that he had last been him. The him she had fallen in love with many years ago. The him who had been her first love.

The ride was easy. There were no bandits or any bad people in general.

She arrived mid morning and could only stare out across the lake.

It was beautiful. Nothing more could be said.

She set up a picnic and lay back on the shore. She remembered the times with Lancelot, though the most memorable she seemed to have were the ones where she was in danger.

She remembered the good times and the bad.

"I'm sorry."

It was a whisper. A whisper into the wind.

The water on the lake ripples and the water brushes against her feet. For once second, he's standing beside her. That's all the closure she needs because she may not love him like he loved her, but he was her first love.

**Review. Please. With a cherry on top because they're in season here in Australia. **


	8. To Trust

**To Trust **

He won the fight. He saved the lives of his people and hers, but in the end, that means nothing if he doesn't have her trust. So while she brings along four or five men to protect her, he takes only himself to the designated meeting area. She may not trust him, and he's not quite willing to trust her, but by doing this, they are working their way towards something more. A peace treaty is already in the works, but that isn't enough for him just yet.

He doesn't want the threat of war anymore just because someone, somewhere wants more land. No, he wants to build the land of legends. He wants to build a kingdom where everyone, no matter who they are, have equal rights. That might take him his entire life to accomplish, but he doesn't care.

So that's why Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot visits the Queen Annis alone, to show her that he is a man who is worth her trust.

**Review. Please.**


	9. Gwaine

**Gwaine**

**Disclaimer. **

Gwaine isn't as thick as he looks. Really, he's not. For example, when he and Merlin were in the caves trying to find Gaius, he did in fact notice that the massively tall guy that had wanted to kill them had somehow flown several meters into the air just in time for Gwaine to not be killed.

His deductive reasoning was pretty good as well. He certainly didn't do it. He didn't need magic or anything like that to save his life. The guy, but lets call him a human rock, probably didn't do it because really, who _wants_ to be thrown into the air when your just about to defeat your opponent. Gwaine was pretty sure that there wasn't some mysterious presence around in the caves which meant that it only left one person.

Merlin.

Which, in retrospect, probably made a hell of a lot more sense then what Gwaine had been previously thinking. So Merlin had magic. That wasn't much of a surprise, since Gwaine already suspected as much but seeing one of your close friends using magic to save your life? Well that just gave Gwaine tingles.

And another thing. Gwaine knows that if someone is holding a dagger to someone else's facial features, throat included, then they probably _not_ checking for signs of life. In other words, no Gwaine did _not_believe that Agravaine was checking to see if Gaius was alive. _Meaning_ that Agravaine was probably trying to kill Gaius.

Great. Arthur's uncle just happens to be in cahoots with crazy, evil Morgana. Brilliant.

Oh, and for the record, that tingly feelings gone thanks to Agravaine.

**I say I want to write something angsty so I choose this. Then it turns into something that I'm pretty sure came straight from a crack house. **


	10. His Mother's Sigil

**His Mother's Sigil**

Arthur believed in his heart of hearts that someone protected him from the dangers that he seemed to have on a regular basis. He'd often thought that that person was his mother, watching over him from wherever she was.

But since the Doroccha had reeked havoc across the kingdom, sparing no-one, he wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Gaius has told him how to free the land of the Doroccha and Arthur now knows what he must do. It breaks his heart, but he tells himself it's for Camelot. It's for the people he loves more then anything else in the world.

When he's gone, he wants those people protected. No, not Guinevere because she was Lancelot and Elyan to take care of her. Not Gaius either, because Arthur knows that Merlin would do anything for the older man who had clearly become a father to Merlin.

It was Merlin he wanted to protect most. Merlin with the kindest of hearts. Merlin who had ridden out on various quests for no good reason. Merlin who had been his adviser, confidant, guide through the past year. He wanted to protect Merlin because Merlin was the one person that kept Camelot together. He probably didn't know it himself, but everyone else did.

Arthur knew for a fact that the only reason Lancelot, Gwaine and Percival were even in Camelot was because of Merlin. Lancelot because he and Merlin had always been close, right from the very beginning. The same can be said for Gwaine and Merlin who, after a day polishing the entire army of Camelot's boots were joking around like they'd known each other for years. Percival was not so much as influenced by Merlin as he was by Lancelot who had been a form of support for the hulk after the death of his family.

Yes, Arthur knew that the only reason he and the Knights of the Roundtable was because of his servant and while that should've made him mad, it didn't because in the end it didn't matter.

Another person who he knew because of Merlin was, of course, Guinevere. She had Merlin had been close friends, though Arthur didn't know how close, close was, before Arthur and Merlin had even like acknowledging each others existence.

"I always thought that if things had have been different we've been good friends," Merlin said as he and Arthur crouched, hiding from the Doroccha. Arthur shivered at how serious Merlin sounded. From experience, whenever Merlin sounded serious, something (or someone) was usually attacking Camelot, threatening to kill Arthur or just in general being a nuisance. In other words, it was something very serious and whatever he said in the following sentence should really be taken into consideration.

"Yeah," Arthur agreed. They both bask in the seriousness of their moment.

"That's if you hadn't have been such an arrogant, pompous dollophead," Merlin tacks on.

Arthur lets out a chuckle. The rest passes in a blur. Merlin jumping up and pushing Arthur out of the way. Merlin getting thrown back into the wall. Dead. Merlin not being dead.

Something, someone had to be protecting him, Arthur decided. Someone who obviously cared about Merlin as well. So with that in mind, while Lancelot prepares to leave and Arthur straps Merlin to his horse, he tucks into Merlin's pocket the object that always kept him safe. His mothers sigil. What use did he have of it now? Merlin was truly the one that needed it.

**So if you haven't seen the deleted scenes for the first five episodes of season four the I highly suggest that you do that right now. You can find it on youtube and yeah. Just go watch them. Look out for a particular scene with Merlin and Arthur where they talk about the Doroccha. Probably going to be a follow up chapter if anyone's interested.**

**Oh, I'm looking for a beta reader as well, so if anyone is interested then please let me know.  
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	11. Futures Written

**Futures Written Pt. 1**

There's a future written for everyone out there. Most do not know what tragedies they will face, what hardships they will overcome. What success they will earn.

He still doesn't know what he will face after his visit with the dragon. But he knows he will face many to achieve such a great destiny. He knows that he will lose some but he knows that eventually he will win the ultimate prize.

Freedom.

Freedom from persecution.

Freedom from hunting.

He will be granted the freedom to live. But not only him, but others as well. Others who wish to learn the most ancient art. The art that the world is founded on.

Others who have magic.

That will be the prize, the end result. He knows that.

But the journey there, while hard and treacherous, will be worth it.

Freedom.


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